felt like home
being accepted for being human for being woman for being sick and tired for being depressed and angry
being accepted for feeling caged and unloved
being accepted for dealing with my suppressed feelings on my own
not feeling loved. i can do what i want, i can come and go as i please, drunk and broken, hysterical, crying, trying to break that wall
he'd still accept me.
he'd forgive and forget, he'd still accept me. make me breakfast, buy me drinks, give me drugs and chocolate.
wth.
he used to watch me spread my wings and dance, grab what is offered, the world is my oyster. he used to watch me as i was always flying alone and as i was laughing with my mates. he watched me with subtle interest, as a free bird. visited my home, looked at the books i was reading, fascinated by that artsy room, built and damaged by reckless creation.
then
called me every day
payed for dinner
payed for lunch
made me breakfast
bought me drinks
payed for concerts
all i had to do is join
.
not the love i wanted.
fold my wings, shut up, be afraid to lose to annoy to behave inappropriately to bore to stress to err.
be thankful. deal with myself on my own.
not the love i wanted.
magnanimously cared about my daily needs
gave me a toothbrush
shared his food
washed my laundry
gave me a home
didn't ask for anything in return
. not the love i wanted.
ignored my caged soul, left it without interest, left it empty and uninteresting
tried to fill it with things of his interest. hidden soul wouldn't eat.
he'd accept me for being there
he'd even accept me for living
he'd even accept me refolding my wings and fly
he still accepts me for being there broke and miserable weak and weary smoking too much drinking every day
and i spread my wings and fly
he could have trusted me that i always come back again but he didn't
and i finally left home for good
being accepted for feeling caged and unloved
being accepted for dealing with my suppressed feelings on my own
not feeling loved. i can do what i want, i can come and go as i please, drunk and broken, hysterical, crying, trying to break that wall
he'd still accept me.
he'd forgive and forget, he'd still accept me. make me breakfast, buy me drinks, give me drugs and chocolate.
wth.
he used to watch me spread my wings and dance, grab what is offered, the world is my oyster. he used to watch me as i was always flying alone and as i was laughing with my mates. he watched me with subtle interest, as a free bird. visited my home, looked at the books i was reading, fascinated by that artsy room, built and damaged by reckless creation.
then
called me every day
payed for dinner
payed for lunch
made me breakfast
bought me drinks
payed for concerts
all i had to do is join
.
not the love i wanted.
fold my wings, shut up, be afraid to lose to annoy to behave inappropriately to bore to stress to err.
be thankful. deal with myself on my own.
not the love i wanted.
magnanimously cared about my daily needs
gave me a toothbrush
shared his food
washed my laundry
gave me a home
didn't ask for anything in return
. not the love i wanted.
ignored my caged soul, left it without interest, left it empty and uninteresting
tried to fill it with things of his interest. hidden soul wouldn't eat.
he'd accept me for being there
he'd even accept me for living
he'd even accept me refolding my wings and fly
he still accepts me for being there broke and miserable weak and weary smoking too much drinking every day
and i spread my wings and fly
he could have trusted me that i always come back again but he didn't
and i finally left home for good
daisee gell - 19. Apr, 05:09
